Wednesday, August 24, 2022

Darmok and Jalad at the Merriam-Webster Annual

Tamarian-isms. STAT!

We desperately need Tamarian-isms in the English language. Better yet, we need CELEBRITY Tamarian-isms! Just THINK of the potential to obtain otherwise unimaginable densities of nuance via references to the impossibly-obtuse lives of celebrity icons.

Here are just a few suggestions off the top of my head (yw M&W, ya old coots!):



"Will Smith, his fist open" = A person so incapable of taking a joke that they have unwittingly made themselves into an even funnier joke.


"Miley Cyrus, her smile spread wide as her legs" = Any grossly-superficial but seemingly-harmless je ne sais quoi from which incalculable human suffering will nevertheless inevitably be derived.


"Kanye, his mouth moving" = Egregious narcissism, vanity or self-aggrandizement; less commonly, any person who gives their child a name that warrants court-mandated therapy for all involved.


"Beyoncé, her fans ravenous" = Anyone sycophantically-lauded for their vague, nonspecific advancements of and/or contributions to society that have never actually occurred.


"Morgan Freeman, his chords resonant" = Any sound that is at once universally and simultaneously soothing and arousing; the antonym of 'misophonia.'