Sunday, December 27, 2015

News From Around the World

The Japanese have uncovered a relic of Mozart's long lost "Tobacco Opera" encoded in previously-unknown modern notation! 

Could it be that our pal Wolfgang was actually a psychic with foreknowledge of times to come? Was he perhaps also a brilliant scientist who secretly developed a perfect algorithm that could predict all possible futures?

Or is he really a secret agent of Philip Morris, bearing glad tidings of "healthful social indulgences" through time? If any modern entity were capable of constructing and powering a time machine, it would surely be the tobacco industry...

Only the Japanese know, it seems. Alas, the answer will probably never be—accurately—translated into English.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Frank's Observations

An intelligent person makes all measurements with immediacy, accuracy, and thoroughness. Any person inclined toward such observational acuity will quickly learn that the average human soul's contents are rather unremarkable - disappointing, even.

Happiness is a tenuous, many-layered delusion, and each of its layers relies upon a foundation more unstable than that of the layer beneath it. To maintain a modicum of contentment consistent with this delusion, intelligent people must avoid being too knowledgeable—too intelligent—about other people.

As for those poor souls whose happiness is contingent upon stabler and more fundamental notions of meaningful living, the notion of such contentment is merely a cruel abstraction.

Intelligent people must either take care not to evolve too far beyond the herd or else learn to sufficiently tend the substantial wounds received in leaving it.

Always,

Frank

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Not that I really care, but...

Existential crisis is the hallmark of sentient growth; if you're not in the middle of at least one right now, you're regressing.

Obituary: Rights, Bill O.

RIP, Bill.

Don't get me wrong, now; I would never criticize the divine wisdom of our supreme overlords as they gloriously smote your stale and heretical ideas in favor of a more... "structured" and "traditional"... approach to human rights. (We worship you, supreme overlords! I'm not a terrorist, I swear. Please don't kill my family again - I'm just getting used to the new one).

Still, I'm sure there are still plenty of—hateful, medieval, chaos-inspiring "free-thinking"—folks who lament good ol' Bill's passing... from within the deep recesses of their hidden lairs beneath the rocky fringes of our great nation, of course.

Again, no offense or disrespect was intended toward or should be inferred by the supreme overlords of our glorious state and country - may they reign supreme and just by the divinity of their godhead, Amen.


Sunday, November 29, 2015

Thankstaking Paingiving

11/29/2015

Today, the reality most believe in is still far less real than the fiction everyone knows about. We're still rolling backwards down Mt. Progress at full speed, and fewer care to remember which way is up or forward than did yesterday. Hope is a dark and heavy joke among the learned, employed in earnest only by necessity - as a litmus test of astuteness and intellectual discipline in strangers, and to inevitably discouraging effect. Most of us mistake truth for momentary smatterings of coherent confirmation bias in the otherwise din of attention deficits, and we couldn't learn the difference if our lives depended on it; we know this because our lives *have* depended on it for a long, long time - yet we're learning even less with every passing moment, each generation more content to die more ignorant and wasteful—more wasted—than the last. Typical conversation and interaction is so obscenely vain that it amounts to little more than oblivious pedantry.

— Diamonds are made of the densest bullshit ever, everyone wants the most carats, and nothing else matters. Life.

Our most acclaimed modern tradition is that of "investing" our best years in life into the best schools we can afford to teach us the best brand of consumer programming our withering faculties can accommodate, after which we peddle such pathetic trade for little more than the meaningless right to the laughable claim that we've earned it - and that "it" isn't the vacuum we know it to be. Nearly no one recognizes the con before becoming a part of it - but rather than choose to grow the backbone necessary to overcome the psychological inertia born of such shameful participation—rather than teach the lessons of our tremendous mistakes to those who will inherit the consequences—we lie to the next generation; we tell them it was worth it, that it was an achievement, that it was useful - that it contributed to our lives in some tangible way instead of pigeonholing our potential and dulling the point of our once-honesty about it to the point of our becoming completely useless human beings. Worse than merely allowing it to continue, we go so far as to build our identities upon our false endorsement of this lie as "education" - and so we limit what REAL education might become, dragging it even further away from what it should be with each celebrated diploma.

We are all cowards.

We're all so committed to resolving the cognitive dissonance of our long- and hard-fought self-loathing that we just can't help but preach it and ourselves as the best god-damned things since sliced bread - singing our praises all the louder as we bury ourselves deeper and deeper in our own proud bullshit. Black is white, truth is fiction, down is up... and thank god for that, too - because how on Earth else could we justify digging ourselves into the deepest and darkest hole possible while still calling it climbing a ladder?

THIS, here, today, is actual HELL; a grinning emoji; eventually, we'll even forget the denial behind it - and then it really will be all we are.

Happy fucking Thanksgiving.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

On the subject of misinterpreted idioms


I'm going to tell you a secret: 

The (proverbial) glass can only be "half full" if it's in the state of being filled.

Perception is not an adequate substitute for accurate context; true comprehension requires both. 

The idiom to which I refer is not actually the accessibly-whimsical endorsement of ambivalence implied by its vernacular usage. It is not a vague assertion of the yin/yang merits of optimism and cynicism in balance; it is not a playful-but-poignant juxtaposition of common grounds between the fundamentally-irrational opposite poles of positivity and negativity. 

The classic "glass half full/empty" idiom is instead a stark reminder of the dangers of perceptive emaciation, a warning that ambivalence and rhetorical intellect will inevitably fail us in our precise and measurable reality. Its message is that knowledge is never safe from the superficial machinations of our instinctual minds. It is a clever plea to "know, first and absolutely," the truth of a thing – rather than to decide it is what it merely appears to be at any given moment.


— a plea too clever for the modern human, evidently. What beautiful irony!


Thursday, August 13, 2015

Idiot-erections for primary elections

Every time I hear somebody talk about candidate _______, I just want to fucking Gordon Ramsay them:
"Ohhh, fuuuuuck me. Un-fucking-believable!
Hey, everybody, STOP!
Look at me, all of you... I SAID FUCKING ALL OF YOU!
- Not an OUNCE of fucking INTELLIGENCE!
- And just... just—*SIGH*—just fucking LOOK at the state of that THOUGHT; it's all over the fucking place, it's torn to shit, and... oh my GOD! Wait, wait, that's not even fucking all of it, look here: it's FUCKING RAW!
What are you fucking doing? You DONKEY!
I've... HAD... ENOUGH!
Do me a favor: YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU –
Fuck off out of here!
All of you, just FUCK OFF! You fucking muppets!"

Dear everybody,

Please be so kind as to shut the fuck up about which presidential candidate will be the most accommodating to whatever meager perceptions of importance you have flitting about in your particular la-la-land. You're all idiots. None of your opinions are good for ANYONE, so—for the love of future generations who have no choice but to inherit the consequences of your stupidity—stop spreading them!

Since nobody seems to have figured it out, let me clue you in: the most important issue actually facing our country today is that people like you are all somehow overwhelmingly content not just to encourage but to in fact participate in this utterly-meritless popularity circus - eagerly offering up your lives and livelihoods to a smorgasbord of insipid clowns from every neighborhood of Out-of-Touchville as they compete in ridiculous battles of vacuous rhetorical bullshit. ("Yayyyy! I hope my team winz!" – YOU). Fucking puppet theater! Unbelievable!

I know, I know, those candidates are all some seriously-impressive idiots, too - but please don't feel compelled to further fuck up society just because you can relate to that. YOU may perpetually be in the market for fashionable stupidity, but you're just a waste of fucking space; the rest of us prefer to avoid wearing our assholes around our collarbones.

Also, when you get around to it,
kill yourselves.


Sincerest nuclear wishes, 

The Voice of Fucking Reason!

Saturday, July 18, 2015

This can't be it

What say you, all,
As to why you buy up everything that you most hate?
Paying dearly with your finite chances to escape,
When you could simply blink,
And free yourself for free?

Even today,
There must be something real worth fighting hard to save -
A shard of self buried deep beneath the ruins of the refrain
— Or is it just me? I'm looking harder!
And some delusions just can't possibly be sustained...
Unless we're all insane,
And maybe we are.


Friday, July 10, 2015

Ragebowners for Ragebows: Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violent too.

What is this terrible fucking rainbow effect that people are putting up as their social media profile pictures? 


Is it the Christians attempting some kind of apocalyptic Noah reference? 

Is it the Sky People mocking Californians? 

Both of those would be funny on several dimensions as well as welcome changes of pace. I bet, though, that it's just the typically-oblivious anti-hippies hawking ideologically weaponized "love" like good little pseudointellectual hipster capitalist robots. (Err, or "pride," or whatever the PC rhetoric is for that nonsense nowadays; IDGAF, so it's hard to keep up with insanity's many and ever-changing malodorous perfumes). 

Worst of all, though... YOU ALL FORGOT THE "V" IN YOUR ROY G. BIV! Idiots!

Few will be asking these questions or making these observations, of course - because every rational person's instinctual response to rainbows appearing anywhere other than the sky is simply RAAAAAAAGE!!! 

So, with that said, all of these terrible affronts to coherent ideology will be hereby referred to by their proper designations of "ragebows," and perpetrators of such visual-and-likely-intellectual obscenity shall be dubbed "ragebowners." Why? Because both of those awful fucking terms—that a 2nd-grader could have come up with in half a second—are of far superior cleverness than rainbows as a statement about anything useful at all.

— please, ragebowners, once you're done violating everything that intelligence has fought for, (and once you're done violet-ing your ragebow overlay): go back in time and undo all of it.

:D

Untitled


Pianos and screams sound like themselves in every language.


Monday, April 6, 2015

Teething on the brimming teat of tit faux-freedom.

A "free the nipples" movement is presently sweeping through the enslaved minds of the self-labeled free peoples of our species. I'm actually not at all surprised, but—being the insatiably rational altruist that I am—I cannot help but do my due diligence - and eloquently poop intellect all over them.

To begin with, "freedom" is an actual delusion.

"Freedom" and "nipples" in the same general ideological circle is definitive insanity.
 
Consider the United States, for instance. The citizens of the USA call it the land of the free for the same reason people anywhere choose to think of anything as something it isn't: they're idiots, they don't care that they're idiots, and they don't care if anyone else is affected by their being idiots. Neither boobs, gender, politics or even the typical go-to (society) are to blame for this one. People are just predictably moronic at every opportunity.

But here's the catch: any proposal to take away anyone's rights to be exactly the idiots they want to be is EXACTLY the same as the perceived social pseudo-injustice it purports to fight. The best case scenario is that everyone ends up equally hypocritical - though whichever party ends up the least conscious of that fact is clearly the worst among the losers.

Men, women, mutants, whatever - go shirtless if you want to, but for god's sake, don't whine about it when people who genuinely don't want to see it—for any reason anywhere within the spectrum of bad reasons from which nearly everyone, including you, draws their monkey-do cards—exercise their equivalent right to complain about it, and definitely don't deceive yourself by rationalizing this nincompoopery as anything other than the latest transient bandwagon from which the masses are hanging their IV idiocy drips.

Everyone who has a half-decent reason to care one way or another is either shirtless right now, or wearing a shirt right now - and everyone else falls into the category of "those pretending to care about trivial bullshit that's only pretending to matter in the first place" - and, well, they matter even less.

How about you all pursue a better, more productive goal for the good of society?
— like KILL YOURSELVES. :)


Thursday, March 12, 2015

Freakin' schweet retro video game pixel art

HARKEN  YE  FELLOW  GAMERS,  GEEKS,  NERDS  AND  ASSORTED  OTHER  COOL FOLK!

Go here now for glorious 80s/90s video-game-gasm:

>>  https://www.etsy.com/shop/perlpop   <<



A good buddy of mine makes this freakin' awesome video game pixel art that you've got to see. He makes 'em in all sizes both great and small, and he can do commissions of your favorite characters & sprites for a killer deal.

Local folks! Should you be so inclined, you also can and should check out a few of his schweet finished projects firsthand at The Wizards Library in Bellingham, WA (South corner of Broadway and Bancroft).

I know that almost all of you have a keychain, wall, office or forehead that seriously needs decorating—or a secret stash of retro memorabilia and/or video game pr0n hidden under your bed that needs some shnazzy new material—so, for the love of Miyamoto, please do what you gotta do.

shut up and take my money!

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Cluseless

To hear the whispers on the wind, and
To see their writings on the wall;
To even tithe attention rewards an opulence of omniscience.
Having heard the madness warring in the voices, though,
And seen the desperate fallacies in their words,
Any person yet paying homage to any false idea—
Inevitable reality or no—will live and be and someday die
Truly poor and having never known.



Sunday, February 1, 2015

Visions of sugar plums... burning alive.

The happiest moment of my life would be the day after the day humans collectively acknowledged that the actual cost of living in "societies" had long since far outweighed even the maximum theoretical potential for its benefit to us - when we finally collect our closest friends and our families, say good-bye to everyone else, and wander back to our better, older selves again.

Sadly, such a day will never come =p
— But! There is still a slight chance (within our lifetimes) that the Earth will put us very close to that ultimate goal on its own - regardless of the present state of humanity at the time. I'm excited for the likely apocalypse of the not-nearly-near-enough future! 

Imagine the beautiful chaos working to re-simplify the arbitrary organization of all of humanity's energy...
Thousand-foot tidal waves. 
Continent-wide lightning storms. 
Hurricanes the size of Texas. 
Volcanoes, and pyroclastic surges... 
New Grand Canyons, miles deep, that will explode outward from the nearest major fault line, hopefully swallowing at least a few major cities... ahhhh! 

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE BEGINNING OF THE END. Let's make this happen, people! This is a goal worth achieving. The public consciousness is oblivious to its existence, but we do have the technology!


Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Common Sense, Made Common Knowledge

False beliefs consume the mental space that truth requires.

Unless you choose rightly, your very thoughts will harm.


Thursday, January 15, 2015

Society is pay-to-lose only.

Aw, shucks - all ya need to do is freedom-ize our current state of affairs/imprisonment/enslavement in the right light, and you'll realize that it's really the best thing for us.

Consider this: if the only cost of living the American Dream is that we have to live the American Dream, then everyone is technically getting their American Dream-life for free!

–and there's no "fear" in "free."

When we apply the transitive property of rhetoric and take into account the commutative property of cognitive dissonance, I personally feel all of my would-be fears assuage themselves.

Yes, life is surely good. Life must be good! –'cause if it wasn't, and we were all just pretending it was, then that would actually make life pretty fuckin' horrifying...



Sunday, January 11, 2015

Solitary Confinement


A mind that can no more change is a mind no more –
Just a soul—the sole inmate—in a prison made from open doors.


Saturday, January 3, 2015

The Hypocrisy of Advocacy in Numbers

——The Hypocrisy of Advocacy in Numbers——

A group has no voice; members of a group trade their voices for the dumb, basic power of physical numbers - cheap, cowardly intimidation. A throng can only ever form around a core of fear, and fear can never result in anything other than more—and worse—problems for everyone.

A group cannot cultivate or participate in rational discourse, because a group can only speak through a puppet - an appointed individual or individuals that will always convey individual agendas and biases in any attempt at reason.

Next time you throw your lot in with any group of people acting under hysterical and misguided directives to "change things," do so knowing that your participation comes at the cost of any possible ideal solution to whichever problem you—now-falsely—purport to care so strongly about.

Only a truly apathetic person would ever trade his or her own voice—the only possible tool by which a person can manifest a tangible and useful identity—for any lesser compromise.

All social activism is folly and cowardice - and those who cannot learn to recognize their ignorance will inevitably doom the lot of us. What you want is not possible within a group - and society is a group. Either shut the fuck up about it and live in the bed you've made for yourselves, or do something real to change it by bettering yourself; don't hide in a crowd for protection, and don't pretend that the rest of the world—or anyone in it—is in any way obligated to change on your behalf. Social existence is a compromise. You have a right to express your rational ideas of how incredibly hollow and useless such an existence may be at times - but unless you are truly willing to forgo all reliance upon any social mechanisms whatsoever, you are a hypocrite if you challenge ANY of them with your own individual agenda(s).

If you call yourself an advocate for any idea, yet still allow fear to influence your actions... you are useless even to yourself - and you will inevitably and absolutely harm the "cause" of any otherwise-rational concept to which you attach yourself.

Friday, January 2, 2015

When they say, "It's not you... it's me" - they're actually right, even when they think they're lying.


— An unsurprising sentiment from what is by far the most idiotic, self-important and self-ignorant generation in human history: "There's no room in my self-righteous selfishness for your selfishness." Hilarious!

Anyone who thinks this is clever should be added to a PSA list of humans with whom everyone else should avoid accidental breeding at all costs...



A Concise Guide to Enslaving Any Human Population

Want to know how YOU can turn thousands—or even millions—of people into your happy, thankful slaves? You've come to the right place! It's tons of fun and super easy - so easy that anyone can do it with only a little bit of study and preparation! :)

Overview:
To begin with, you first have to understand that all individuals within any society perpetuate social rule by default—benign and restrictive alike—unless they take conscious steps to act against it. This is the nature of a society; it's an organism which, once birthed, exists only to keep itself alive. The key to keeping a society of people enslaved, thus, is first to get them IN a society built around rules of YOUR choice. Later on, you'll then take steps to make sure they always feel like they have a better option *within* society than any other possible option *outside* society. (People are generally pretty stupid - so this is actually quite easy). Then, once you have them invested in remaining trapped within your society, you must create a comfortable cycle of distractions and lead them to a state of self-conditioned reliance upon said cycle - so they don't decide to change their minds.

*****STAGE ONE:*****
Okay - so, you've got a population of people believing that you know what's best for them. They've all come together in one spot more or less, and are looking to you for guidance. What next? The bait and switch, that's what. The "magic trick" to herding your population into indefinite slavery is to progressively marginalize them while simultaneously flattering them to greater and greater extents. You need to start taking away their freedoms, now - but you must make certain that they're thanking you for it. With a little bit of perceptive smoke and mirrors, this is an easy task - made even easier as your population grows, as the increasing density steadily destroys any possibility of maintaining effective or useful communication between members of your society. A melting pot reduces everybody to the lowest common denominator, so open your doors WIDE and beg them to let you lead them! Your biggest ally here will be simple human nature: there is no maximum limit to the size of your populace's inflated ego - and if you steadily inflate it until it's so big that it blots out the light of the truth just by being there, you can start to do whatever the hell you want with reality while your slaves vegetate in their own little self-centric worlds. Behind closed doors, politicians affectionately call this one the "freedom shitwich." This is basically what it sounds like:

"You don't need (this)! You're the best bunch of human beings that've ever lived, and it just boils my blood to know that so-and-so is trying to make you dependent upon such-and-such that you don't need. Your lives are far too precious to be wasted on lies and false agendas! I want you to be able to focus on YOU - to put the power back in YOUR hands to make your OWN decisions, without having to cater to the demands of people or corporations who think they can own you. You aren't slaves! I'm determined to fight for your right to stay free. To start with, I'm going to promise to make sure you aren't *robbed* of the truly precious things in life at the hands of silly distractions; we're going to help you out by taking those annoying distractions away for you - as a courtesy for your being such a stand-up human being, and as a salute to your staying true to the ideals and principles that have made you all into such a uniquely righteous nation. Oh, no, it's no trouble - of course, you're welcome. More than that, though, thank YOU for just being you... because, really, at the end of the day that's ALL that matters, right?"

*****STAGE TWO:*****
This method will work well for a number of decades, but eventually a population will begin to recognize the stark absence of certain intrinsic qualities of life, and after a bit more time will then begin to question where such necessities have gone. To prevent this from getting out of hand, all that's needed is a bit of preventive maintenance. One must simply convince your populace that they deserve better than to *have* to fight for their freedoms. Convince them that just being upset and vocal about it *should* be all that they have to do - because they *deserve* to be listened to. Once they start voicing their anger, don't fight them; instead, in the first stages of public unrest you should position your voice parallel to theirs and give them the leadership they desperately need. Promise to lead them from their despairing situation - and make sure you shout your "solution" louder than the crowd cries out in complaint. It's trivially easy to accomplish this because the notion of entitlement and self-fixing problems appeals almost IRRESISTIBLY to the unchecked egos of the uncritical and under-educated masses; once you seed their minds with a subtle and indirect hint of your idea, almost everyone will immediately believe that they invented it themselves - and that, thus, it must be correct. By giving them a direction—any direction—you'll give them an outlet through which to express their frustration and air their righteous indignation; it'll make them feel better temporarily because they will feel as if they are doing *something* about (something). Their momentum will quickly fade as they begin to experience their emotional catharsis, and as your problem solves itself it will begin to preemptively prevent itself from reoccurring: courtesy of the human brain's careful chemical administrations of behavioral motivations and deterrents, they will quickly learn that they may depend upon this temporary catharsis whenever they start to feel trapped in the future. They will return to it, time after time, oblivious to other possibilities, with eagerness - at first because they become upset over something else, but eventually... because they need the short-term release, and they miss it when life is "normal." It's a self-sustaining cycle that not only fuels itself but also generates its own constantly-increasing momentum and preserves its own inertia. After numerous enough iterations they will eventually soothe themselves into a life of discordant—but silent—resignation. Cognitive dissonance is now your lieutenant; at this point, you can sit back, relax, and perfect your strategy - filling in the gaps as they arise.

*****STAGE THREE:*****
Maintain and hone. Focus on identifying and supporting environmental opportunities to keep your populace ignorant and content. Belief, especially, is vital if you can introduce it into your population's culture. Myths and stories of the supernatural must be encouraged, researched and publicized, and even planted for discovery; meanwhile, your regime's advances in science must be either hidden or else "spun" such that they do not interfere with the cognitive dissonance mechanisms of your population. Encourage individuals to empower themselves with trivial and arbitrary identities as they see fit - the more irrational, the better. Your most useful weapons of opportunity will be anything that can keep them focused on themselves instead of on the reality beyond themselves. They will create these delusions on their own, as a natural result of their coping mechanisms constantly adapting to your careful control over them. Simply smile, nod, and encourage it - but do not be over-eager to applaud them, or they will become suspicious and may question your motives. Gently stoke the fires of their beliefs in... whatever they come up with to believe in. The entire process of perpetual enslavement relies on cognitive dissonance - and belief is the simplest and most fundamental form of this essential slaver's tool. If enough people believe in something—in anything, really—their minds will already be primed in advance to openly receive their leaders' circuitous and meaningless rhetoric. They won't question your hollow explanations because they will "seem" reasonable upon initial appearance - and, because they are already accustomed to accepting their perceptions of initial appearance (belief) as bonafide fact, there is little or no danger of their ever digging any deeper. Belief is a tyrant's best friend! Don't neglect it if you expect your social cage to stand for more than a few hundred measly years.

Summary:
Using the above tools, you can guide people into turning their own belief, human nature and incidental emotional discord into invincible cages. Strengthen them by actively encouraging and affirming your population's sense of divine entitlement, and instead of straining at the bars they will then resolve themselves to simply yelling at the bars to open - and then yelling at each other when nothing happens. All a potential captor must do is open the door just a little bit at first, bait a careful trap, and wait for the prey to hurry inside to its doom. The rest is all down hill, as they say!

Once a population is enslaved in this fashion, the most efficient way of keeping them slaves is to guarantee that their predictable efforts to escape will instead result only in the tightening of their bonds. If a modicum of effort is invested in making this constriction *appear* instead to be a "loosening," the efficiency of the tactic is increased even further. Manipulate their environments to force them into making rash, uncalculated, instinctual reactions out of fear - and ensure that the immediate results of those reactions are perceptibly cathartic... but that the *net* result is controllable and works in favor of your agenda.

Guide their actions into a circular reality in this manner for only a few generations - and, once everyone alive can remember only the familiar orbit of your machinations, they and their future generations will practically guide themselves from that point on.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Relax! Don't do it.

No matter who you are or what particular upset or offense you're presently stewing over, if you're human, I've got some happy facts that are sure to cheer you up!



— Life itself is objectively meaningless, and you're not the exception to the rule. Why brood over anything when there's a nearly infinite diversity of other meaningless activities and ideas to pursue? Go on a shooting spree, write a letter to the editor, or punch somebody in the face - whatever gets your head back on straight. When you consider that all of humanity is utterly insignificant to the universe, dwelling on human emotion—of all things!—amounts to wasting... wasted time.
(Yes, it makes *that* little sense!)