Rough sex

So I was talking with a friend today, and she asked me if I liked rough sex (yes, there was a perfectly good explanation for the existence of that context, no worries), and I answered, "90% no, 10% yes."

Which is 100% true.
It bores the fuck out of me.

But I hadn't really thought about it beyond that, and I suppose I probably should - seeing as how I am the guy who refuses to do, be, say, or in any way acknowledge anything unless it makes perfect logical sense. Yes, I know every girl is hard-wired to crave rough sex like monkeys crave bananas - and no, that allegory wasn't coincidental AT ALL. And, of course, I'm hard wired just the same way. That leads me to number 1 on my list of reasons I don't like rough sex:

1) FUCK my hard-wiring. I'm better than that. My body is the only thing determined by my genes; front end behavior is 110% choice. Giving in to natural impulses is... of course, totally natural. It's also completely fruitless, contributes to absolutely nothing at best, and outright prevents progress at worst - as proven by a few thousand years of human social history. And worst tends to be the norm.

2) Meaningless. Really rough sex really should best be described as "banging," because it so perfectly represents what is essentially a random, undirected cacophony of two objects chaotically thrashing each other with nothing but brute-force. How the hell can that be anything but boring to anybody? You might as well just go at it with toys or your hand; once you stoop to the level of simply having sex to achieve orgasm, it really doesn't matter whether you're doing it with somebody else, with a machine or with a doorknob for all I care - it's just a simple mechanical act from start to finish intended to culminate in exactly one result: spurt spurt, quiver quiver. No meaning, no significance, no value; at that point, your "partner" really is just an object - and so are you.

3) Boring. Once again, there is nothing special about chaos; you know exactly how this is going to end, so why ever do it more than once? Are you really so addicted to the fleeting hormone high and skin flush that you'd trade your potential for a meaningful exchange between two unique people for a simple act of mutual hedonism that could be done with anybody at all? That's not fun; that's called social dysfunction. You should probably see your therapist. While you do that, I'll be having genuinely therapeutic sex.

4) Too much work. Guys aren't constructed like women. We're predisposed to blowing our loads after 30 seconds, and anything you ladies get beyond that is sheer charity on the part of your guy, assuming he works out and is actually capable of control, that is. I can last as long as I'd like while having sex, and it doesn't require anything more than a 3 second position change every fifteen minutes or so. 2000 thrusts per minute requires actual concentration - and who are we kidding? Ladies get to sit back and enjoy the ride; that's really beside the point, but the simple fact is that sex is supposed to be 100% enjoyable for both people involved. So I'm going to take it easy and savor the experience.

For those of you poor ladies who have trained yourself to be unable to get off without your motorized toys or a guy willing to imitate one by 'roughing you up all night long'... I seriously feel bad for you; you choose what you enjoy, and if you chose the only nonsensical option out of the giant book of perfectly reasonable other ones, it's going to backfire on you. You're going to run into a roadblock in your late 30s or 40s where you suddenly realize that the guys your age have figured out that they don't have to go out of their ways to entertain you, and might actually resent you for expecting it - and then you end up one of those nasty ladies going after guys half your age because you can't get your dysfunctions satisfied by guys more mature than you. Sucks pretty hardcore, don't it?
-- just the way you like it.

But I'm not the least bit jaded about being the only sane person in a world full of cuntomatons.

Not one bit.

Nor am I even slightly offended that it seems impossible to find a decent woman who hasn't learned her concept of sex either from watching porn or from long couch sessions with "Dr. Jackrabbit XIVI model no.6000-2."

- or from "romance" (read: porn, duh?) novels... don't even get me fucking started on that crap.

(As if women weren't high maintenance enough? All I can contribute anymore is an unenthusiastic "wtf" for the sake of principle). At least my being "high maintenance" makes the world a better place.

Am I just trying to find worthy women in the wrong country, or what? I'm intimately familiar with all the various typical sexual dysfunctions of American women, obviously - but is it really just American women? Or is that just wishful thinking on my part?

Some lovely woman from another country needs to weigh in on this, please.