7 hours since "I just need to find a high-quality version of one song," and...

... now I've found this. Not only does it fit right in with classic Ministry, but it might be the most entertaining video on Youtube.

Oh, just shoot me

VIDEO: Bulletproof / Stormproof safe rooms for schools  

The unfortunate reality is that security gimmicks won't keep children safe at school. It would simply accelerate the evolution of this society's school-massacre paradigm. Realistically, the net result would be to make more children less-safe, faster. Anyone can break through bulletproofing (especially, but not just glass) with $30 and a visit to a hardware store - or, with the same budget, cook up a nice IED, or enough poison gas to fill a school, etc etc.

A fundamental truth of security is that preparation supersedes the incidental. Anyone who resolves to kill a ton of people can find a way around incidental obstacles just by knowing they exist ahead of time. The bottom line is that there's no way to keep anyone safe as long as there are people willing to do whatever it takes to kill them, and that's regardless of how many easy options are or aren't available to do so. Guns, for instance, aren't even close to the most efficient way of killing a lot of people right now - they're just one of the most visible thanks to popular media, and thus the most immediate option given the general population's non-existent attention span. We are lucky that murderers are still using guns, frankly. When that changes—and it will, if social trends continue—so will the methodology, along with the scale of the body count.

No matter how much or how comprehensive physical and technological security is or becomes, the only way to truly prevent crime is to balance the social expression whose inevitable remainder is always crime. Crime is just a social waste product that a majority of people are either too dumb or too greedy to recycle properly before it gets out of hand.

... But that process is neither simple, nor profitable. So. *shrug*

Sarcasm à la carte

Oh, maaaaan. What is the world coming to?

If we can't even collectively agree that it's fine to kill unwanted babies just for funsies, how the hell are we supposed to eventually achieve the ultimate consensus that it's fine to kill unwanted adults - including quite a few for potentially-legitimate reasons!? We need legalized distant-post-term abortion, yesterday!

— No amount of Las Vegas country music festival hijinks will suffice!

And—this is just a nitpick, but—this also puts a serious damper on our plans to selectively breed out human flaws in lieu of leaving it to "natural selection" - which, bear in mind, is, like, tooooootally composed of an inordinate overpopulation of frat boiz and club gurrrrrls-zah.

Bought a One-Day Membership to Club DGAF

Spent an hour writing a few brilliant, provocative paragraphs about the social obstacles facing modern science and scientists, and about the lack of awareness grinding important science to a halt in the modern day –

– upon reflecting for 2.8 seconds, realized that I couldn't possibly find the bottom of that steaming pile of irony, much less lead any of you to it because... oh, wait, more irony –

– gave up, remembered nobody gives a shit about giving a shit anyway, and just wrote this instead to spite all of you intellectual-cave-dwelling motherfuckers.

Merry everyday, apaths. You're welcome, fuck you, and I am sick of looking at all of your asses crawling backwards. Rot, screaming, buried alive in sinkholes, forever and ever,

<3
Jim

Idiot-erections for primary elections

Every time I hear somebody talk about candidate _______, I just want to fucking Gordon Ramsay them:

"Ohhh, fuuuuuck me. Un-fucking-believable!
Hey, everybody, STOP!
Look at me, all of you... I SAID FUCKING ALL OF YOU!
- Not an OUNCE of fucking INTELLIGENCE!
- And just... just—*SIGH*—just fucking LOOK at the state of that THOUGHT; it's all over the fucking place, it's torn to shit, and... oh my GOD! Wait, wait, that's not even fucking all of it, look here: it's FUCKING RAW!
What are you fucking doing? You DONKEY!
I've... HAD... ENOUGH!
Do me a favor: YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU –
Fuck off out of here!
All of you, just FUCK OFF! You fucking muppets!"

Dear everybody,

Please be so kind as to shut the fuck up about which presidential candidate will be the most accommodating to whatever meager perceptions of importance you have flitting about in your particular la-la-land. You're all idiots. None of your opinions are good for ANYONE, so—for the love of future generations who have no choice but to inherit the consequences of your stupidity—stop spreading them!

Since nobody seems to have figured it out, let me clue you in: the most important issue actually facing our country today is that people like you are all somehow overwhelmingly content not just to encourage but to in fact participate in this utterly-meritless popularity circus - eagerly offering up your lives and livelihoods to a smorgasbord of insipid clowns from every neighborhood of Out-of-Touchville as they compete in ridiculous battles of vacuous rhetorical bullshit. ("Yayyyy! I hope my team winz!" – YOU). Fucking puppet theater! Unbelievable!

I know, I know, those candidates are all some seriously-impressive idiots, too - but please don't feel compelled to further fuck up society just because you can relate to that. YOU may perpetually be in the market for fashionable stupidity, but you're just a waste of fucking space; the rest of us prefer to avoid wearing our assholes around our collarbones.

Also, when you get around to it,
kill yourselves.

Sincerest nuclear wishes, 

The Voice of Fucking Reason!

Ragebowners for Ragebows: Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violent too.

What is this terrible fucking rainbow effect that people are putting up as their social media profile pictures? 

Is it the Christians attempting some kind of apocalyptic Noah reference? 

Is it the Sky People mocking Californians? 

Both of those would be funny on several dimensions as well as welcome changes of pace. I bet, though, that it's just the typically-oblivious anti-hippies hawking ideologically weaponized "love" like good little pseudointellectual hipster capitalist robots. (Err, or "pride," or whatever the PC rhetoric is for that nonsense nowadays; IDGAF, so it's hard to keep up with insanity's many and ever-changing malodorous perfumes). 

Worst of all, though... YOU ALL FORGOT THE "V" IN YOUR ROY G. BIV! Idiots!

Few will be asking these questions or making these observations, of course - because every rational person's instinctual response to rainbows appearing anywhere other than the sky is simply RAAAAAAAGE!!! 

So, with that said, all of these terrible affronts to coherent ideology will be hereby referred to by their proper designations of "ragebows," and perpetrators of such visual-and-likely-intellectual obscenity shall be dubbed "ragebowners." Why? Because both of those awful fucking terms—that a 2nd-grader could have come up with in half a second—are of far superior cleverness than rainbows as a statement about anything useful at all.

— please, ragebowners, once you're done violating everything that intelligence has fought for, (and once you're done violet-ing your ragebow overlay): go back in time and undo all of it.

:D