Let's talk about something that almost all men think about, but absolutely no one talks about: having sex with women is WAY too often WAY more frustrating and ungratifying than it's worth. Frankly, a lot of times it's just another thankless chore. It's a shame, though - because it doesn't HAVE to be that way... but these days—and ever-increasingly as society becomes progressively more proudly insane—it just really is. As each more-recent generation somehow predictably becomes more socially and intellectually moronic despite having free, unlimited, virtually instantaneous, increasingly effortless access to the comprehensive sum of human scientific knowledge on a whim, both the concept and the actual act of sex with women is—also predictably—becoming proportionately less interesting, less satisfying, and more stressful for men. Nevermind microplastics and testosterone-antagonistic estrogen precursors from soy being ubiquitous in everything we touch and eat, and nevermind that modern doctors have somehow—(conveniently?)—forgotten that female fertility has always begun to rapidly diminish around age 30 or even before (despite it having been common knowledge for at least the last 12,000+ years); if those aspects of general human stupidity weren't already substantially contributing to the fact that humanity is no longer maintaining globally-sustainable population growth-equilibrium, I guarantee you that in the next couple of decades, the progressively increasing withdrawal of reproductive and general sexual participation by more and more men will become a long-term survival problem for humanity all on its own. Contrary to popular belief among readers of Cosmopolitan magazine, the species would not actually survive if all the women of the world began exclusively reproducing with the same 1 in 4000 men - so it miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight even be in the best interests of women, too, to at least consider considering important issues affecting the other 3999 in 4000 (and/or the other half of the species in general, but I digress).
This isn't a rant, though. There's a reason this is coming up - double-puntendre intended:
The lowest common denominator of useful public/common knowledge regarding men's sexual-health and -wellness is presently over 200 years behind that of women's... and if you're a woman, you should know that this fact sometimes makes having sex with you a super fucking drag - and at least a little bit of that impact is probably your fault (or at least your prerogative to ignore to the tangible detriment of the men in your life).
A more than sufficient body of data pertaining to male sexual wellness exists - but the seed of social emphasis needed to eventually cultivate a common vernacular of functional and utilitarian wisdom from such data is so far from even being initially planted that it may as well not exist at all. Most modern women's (and doctors') perception of and personal comportment regarding male sexuality is not even quite as sophisticated or dialed-in as the absurd once-practices of arbitrarily lobotomizing psychiatric patients, or of prescribing hysterectomies to remove "corrupted wombs" as a cure for "foul feminine moods and ailments," or of measuring a woman's weight against that of a duck to test if she's a witch (gotta keep it light, right). Now, if you happen to be female and angry at the world for the hypothetical sociopolitical injustices "waged" against your distant ancestors by the distant ancestors of your male peers'—almost certainly destitute and powerless—great-great-great-great grandfolks, that of course entitles you to arbitrarily rationalize that fact away however you want and/or to cancel anyone who dares suggest you instead think rationally about it - but the non-fallacious and less melodrama-worthy reality, ignored or otherwise, is that a social-equity pendulum swing that massive is bad for EVERYONE.
Perhaps the most absolutely bonkers example of this is the fact that the combination of pandemic apathy and willful ignorance (predominantly among females) surrounding male sexual health and wellness is so severe and pervasive that there is presently an entire industry of for-profit pseudomedicine successfully profiteering from it - and doing so solely from the widespread conflation of an extremely rare (effectively exclusively geriatric) medical condition affecting less than 1 in 800 men over the age of 65 or 1 in 2,000,000 men under that age with what is, in actuality, instead simply men's completely-normal & -healthy arbitrary lack of sexual arousal due to any one of dozens of commonplace if not daily interfering circumstances, including but not limited to lack of attraction, lack of trust, disinterest, boredom, distraction, preoccupation, frustration, discomfort, pain, depression, anxiety, fear, anger, sexual trauma, general relationship trauma, ongoing emotional abuse, etc. In science terms, they just call that "male sexual response dynamics." It ain't rocket science. For those women of the world who still struggle even with not-rocket-science, though, I'm going to share what should be a really boring, really obvious common-sense fact that is somehow instead an ultra-mysterious super-secret in this modern age of bass-ackwards-counterintellectualism (which has probably convinced you that your vagina is more important to humanity than intellect): if your non-geriatric, non-morbidly-obese guy can't get it up for you, there is a 99.99999% likelihood that it has nothing whatsoever to do with his dick, and there is also about a 70% likelihood that it has at least something to do with you and/or your lack of chemistry. Even if it's not to do with you directly, gaslighting him and yourself into believing that there isn't a rational—and probably obvious—permanently-fixable acute contextual cause (other than a vogue pseudo-medical diagnosis that only exists to make money for the ultra-rich descendants of the handful of assholes who *actually* oppressed the distant ancestors of everyday women AND men alike)... well, that level of unabashed self-celebrating stupidity isn't gonna do either of you any favors in the short term, the long term, or the gestational term. Frankly, any sane & self-respecting guy's dick would shrivel up at merely the thought of him being abused like that... and yet, that's almost every guy's every-day status quo when it comes to dealing and/or having sex with women - or if not their own experience, then that of most of the guys they know. Just as frankly, especially given how powerful our brains have become it's a bonafide miracle that most guys can get it up at all for most women, most of the time, all things considered - and that's even when those women aren't being proudly and loudly fucking toxic to, around and/or about them. Now that right there's a true testament to the tenacity of the human biological imperative.
Here's a nugget of functional factual wisdom that should have been taught to you in high school sex-ed (which in turn should have been two orders of magnitude more comprehensive and should have started as a core annual class every year beginning by age 10, but I digress... again): male and female arousal dynamics aren't even CLOSE to symmetrical with each other. The male equivalent of a woman's failure to orgasm during sex is not that he fails to orgasm himself - it's actually that he just doesn't get an erection at all, or doesn't get a full one, or doesn't keep it for long. Just think about how common it is for a woman not to get her rocks off during sex - and not only in the first few years of trying with other humans, or in cases of masturbation prohibition/shaming or other sexual repression at home, and/or with otherwise inexperienced/casual/self-absorbed lovers. I hate to break it to ya, but as a woman, if you want to reliably have mutually-satisfying sex with halfway-decent men, you may eventually have to stoop to thinking of your male partner as another human being just like you, subject to all the same contexts and then some.
I swear, sometimes it almost seems like there's always a double standard about everything sex-related that's ever existed, or something. Gee, just think - if that were true, figuring out which side of it you're currently on just might not be the dumbest thing you've ever done. (And I know that, depending on who you are, that might mean you're disinclined to do it as a rule - but even if you're one of "them," at least consider considering it. Maybe it'll become a habit someday).
- now, ladies, try putting ALL THAT in your catty group chat and gossiping about it. It just might do something other than nothing and/or yet more harm to the poor men in your orbit - and maybe that trend toward positive change could become a habit someday, too.
(*For all you sad sack non-sciency types, that's human physiology speak for "male.")
No comments:
Post a Comment