I'm thankful for the sacrifices of the fruits I eat. What a beautiful relationship. I want to be somebody's "fruit."
I wonder if anybody will ever "get" me.
Why does some music make my heart beat faster without my permission?
What's the secret ingredient in Henry's Orange Cream Soda?
I wonder when it will become possible to modify your vocal chords. I wouldn't mind being able to break into a perfect Sean Connery one moment, then belt out some pitch-perfect Sarah McLachlan the next, just because I could. But the ethical dilemmas...
Speaking of Sarah McLachlan, what do you think she had in mind when she wrote "Building a Mystery?"
I love that song.
So many people have magnesium deficiencies that affect their ability to cogitate, and don't even know that they need magnesium. Eat more leafy greens, people! For my sake...
What would life be like without Switters?
... I don't want to think about it. What would Switters do? Ah, ha! Think about my boss' daughter. Oh, sweet taboo...
Someday, I'd take great pleasure in converting the Bush family into bio diesel.
Who thought of the name for the "Snapple" brand?
What a catchy name.
And what an utterly pedestrian play on words.
What a fuckin' shame.
People always ask if I'm tired,
But never what I'm tired of.
Skeleton women who believe that their gym-made hyper-skinniness excuses their blatant arrogance annoy—and scare—me. Weighing less than my guitar doesn't earn you any special treatment. If I can see your bones, it's not going to turn me on - it's going to make me tell you to eat more and use your vibrator 16 hours a day less than you do. What broader change is reflected in the fact that so many men in our society have begun to base their fundamental attraction to women on artificial and/or masculine traits? I can't be the only one who still appreciates the way a woman's body develops naturally, can I?
Latin is the coolest language in the world.
Right now.
Riddick once killed a guy with a soup cup... so what?
I could kill you with a bottle cap.
... or my mind.
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