Welcome, graduates. You have fulfilled the arbitrary and irrelevant pseudo-academic requirements of your respective collegiate employment lanes, and have demonstrated mastery of the 10 minutes of Google-fu necessary to begin a career as a low, mid, or high level corporate servant of any kind. It is time to swear you in to our honored tradition. Please turn to chapter 1, page 1 of your government-accredited university documentation, and repeat after me the following lie:
"Money is not my religion. I am free to pursue my physical life on my own deliberate terms and at my own discretion, and I am free to define my metaphorical life and create my own personal justifications and goals for and in that life. I am not nor will I ever be beholden to any external entity or force beyond that of my own will and of mother nature. My open denial of any and all unwilling obligation to any person, idea or entity will never cause me to suffer a reduction of my quality of life within my society. No other human beings shall ever be permitted to interfere with these intrinsic rights under any circumstances, nor I with theirs, under penalty of complete forfeiture of all rights to live until such interference immediately and permanently ceases."
Now, in order to satisfy the requirements of the institutions to which you are henceforth indebted and to whose continued persistence you are solely devoted, you must repeat this lie to yourself every day of your life. You will refute any and all challenge as to the efficacy or present state of the ideas contained within this lie, and when challengers arise which cannot be refuted you must then eliminate them using any means necessary. You will never prioritize the pursuits of reason, truth, philosophy, objectivity, or broader perspectives - but you may indulge in them as diversionary entertainments and/or as props by which to facilitate the association of legitimacy with the lie. You will follow these rules until, at some point, you wake up in the morning and believe the lie. On that day, your obligation will be fulfilled.
Congratulations on your achievement! The billing process officially commences with your receipt of your first paycheck.
"Money is not my religion. I am free to pursue my physical life on my own deliberate terms and at my own discretion, and I am free to define my metaphorical life and create my own personal justifications and goals for and in that life. I am not nor will I ever be beholden to any external entity or force beyond that of my own will and of mother nature. My open denial of any and all unwilling obligation to any person, idea or entity will never cause me to suffer a reduction of my quality of life within my society. No other human beings shall ever be permitted to interfere with these intrinsic rights under any circumstances, nor I with theirs, under penalty of complete forfeiture of all rights to live until such interference immediately and permanently ceases."
Now, in order to satisfy the requirements of the institutions to which you are henceforth indebted and to whose continued persistence you are solely devoted, you must repeat this lie to yourself every day of your life. You will refute any and all challenge as to the efficacy or present state of the ideas contained within this lie, and when challengers arise which cannot be refuted you must then eliminate them using any means necessary. You will never prioritize the pursuits of reason, truth, philosophy, objectivity, or broader perspectives - but you may indulge in them as diversionary entertainments and/or as props by which to facilitate the association of legitimacy with the lie. You will follow these rules until, at some point, you wake up in the morning and believe the lie. On that day, your obligation will be fulfilled.
Congratulations on your achievement! The billing process officially commences with your receipt of your first paycheck.
Is your cave like this one?
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxcftjJ39BU
My mind cave is a bit like that, but I haven't fully embraced my Dwarven alter ego in the physical realm quite yet. There are logistical concerns, frankly; I live in a society that's filled to the brim with every imaginable variety of tool - but they aren't those kinds of tools.
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