I've come to the conclusion that lava lamps just might be some super-sneaky-ninja-like government attempt at targeted crowd control.
Think about it: if you could distribute a device dangerous and addictive enough, what better way to get rid of those pesky folks who habitually smoke too much weed, trip on mushy mushrooms, or consume chemical cocktails?
And then there are the REAL threats to government authority: those nerdy folks like myself who are just really fascinated by creative physics experiments which lend themselves to adventurous (and colorful!) dream states.
So, after all that... how could it possibly be a coincidence that lava lamps are SO fascinating – and such a huge freakin' FIRE HAZARD!?
Of course, the logical explanation is that "they"—the man, the big kahuna, the red plague, the malevolent peach fuzz on Big Brother Society's chest—are simply trying to burn us all a-fuckin' live!
Yooooou know it. And you heard it right here!
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