Articulation Propagation

Sincere ignorance I can forgive - but once ignorance has been dispelled by exposure to the truth, all that's left is a choice. Everyone has a choice. Far too many people ignore theirs.

I've had the unexpected pleasure of cause, recently, to articulate my personal thoughts and feelings on the subject of my own physicality - but, to my frustration, I haven't yet been able to comprehensively abstract the ideas in my head... until just now, in the shower, as I was appreciating my body while getting all clean and fragrant. I often have my purest intellectual moments when naked.

I am thankful for my physical being. I'm glad I have a body; it allows me to interact with a dimension of reality that I believe is important, and not merely because I strive for complete comprehension of reality (which I do). My body lets me walk, touch, kiss, taste, feel the earth between my toes, sense and interact with the energy of nature, convey important ideas to and plant positive feelings in the minds of people I care about, and much more. It's important to me. I understand that it's necessary, and I will always do what I must to allow it to persist for as long as naturally possible.

What I am not at all appreciative of is the idea of my body being defined by the context of a group mentality. What frustrates me is that, in the company of others, "I" as a physical idea, am defined by whatever physical common-denominator exists in that social environment; beyond that, anyone exposed to this purely social definition will automatically accept that definition as the current reality, and will then interact with me as if the idea of "me" that they hold in their minds is fact - when, in fact, it is anything but. Only I have the right to define myself arbitrarily! Only I am allowed to own the concept of who or what I am, and that includes every possible dimension of my existence both physical and otherwise. When I interact with other people, their willing acceptance of these ambient notions of physicality are "in control." The more people that are present and aware of it, the stronger the exertion of control becomes; the greater the pressure exerted upon me becomes, and I feel it. If I were to simply give in to it, I would lose a part of myself - and even if it returned to me once I escaped the prison of such toxic social interactions, I would be a coward and a hypocrite for having allowed myself to be enslaved, even temporarily.

Whether I have short hair, long hair, movie-star hair, hippie hair, dirty hair, or no hair; whether I am short or tall, skinny, muscular, or fat (or appear more of one or another based on what I'm wearing or how I walk); whether I am clean shaven, trimmed, or Grizzly Adams; whether I am seen as conventionally attractive or conventionally ugly, whether a woman stares and drools or sneers and gags, NONE of these things represent what I actually am - they are all external perceptions that are forced upon me by others, and I loathe them all equally, even those with positive social connotations and especially those false ideas that encourage people to find me "attractive." I can't possibly be attractive to people who have only interacted with me using their eyes; I refuse to be subject to their delusion. Whether it makes them feel good or bad, or whether it encourages my subconscious social coping mechanisms to make ME feel good or bad - it's irrelevant, because it's all a lie.

That is my beef with my body: that others will always push, hard, to possess ideological ownership of it, and that they will always interact with me falsely - through a completely invalid perception created by an arbitrary, purely-socially-derived misconception of me. An equal frustration is that the entire problem could be avoided if everyone simply acknowledged that all sentient beings have the rights of full and sole proprietorship to every dimension of themselves. It hurts me to see other people allow themselves to be marginalized and reduced to simpler, lesser ideas of themselves when in the company of others - simply because the alternative would be for those misunderstood elements of self to remain perpetually unknown. I certainly relate to the powerful instinctual drive to be known and understood and appreciated for *exactly* what you are—and absolutely nothing else and nothing more—and I absolutely relate to the profound feelings of discontentment and worthlessness that fester in the absence of this kind of fundamental intimacy... but I cannot understand how nearly an entire species could possibly be willing to simply abstain from such a fundamentally necessary element of their natural existence for ANY reason at all. On some level, being acknowledged—even falsely—can feel better than realizing I'm invisible... but it's just another comfortable delusion. How can everyone know this and yet do nothing about it!?

 All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that the good among us do nothing.

Inaction is its own form of contribution to these violations, as well. The self-destructive version of this concept is called "vanity" by most; giving it a name conveniently compartmentalizes the crime in an innocuous word that can simply be "accepted" or written off as a "vice" without needing to interact with the full scope of what it actually means. Rarely does anyone ever define "vanity" comprehensively and consciously; of those, nearly none reflect on what its definition says about themselves or others. But if you do it to yourself, you project it on to others as well - and it damages them! Allowing oneself to assign either positive or negative value to any person, on any level whatsoever, based on evolutionarily-irrelevant components of what they either do or do not look like, perpetuates a criminal level of ignorance and constitutes a bald-faced lie.

Let's talk about "evolutionary advantages" briefly, because I hear that offered up as an excuse for superficial ideologies very commonly. I was talking with some idiot acquaintance of mine who claimed he was attracted to women with a certain waist-to-bust ratio, and his—honest—rationalization for preferring skinny women with big breasts and big hips was that he preferred women with "ideal child-bearing figures." Ugh. Idiot. He inspired me to follow up my somewhat significant pre-existing genetics expertise with a comprehensive review of evolutionary biology - and I feel that everyone should know what the facts are. First of all, neither the survival capability nor, more importantly, the overall biological success of any human offspring can currently be enhanced via visual selection of any particular genetic trait... because nearly every single genetic trait relevant to either survival or success is not visibly physically expressed at all. Period. That's scientific fact. The only exceptions are specific debilitating hereditary diseases which can shorten one's life, some of which have outwardly-visible physical symptoms which might be perceived - and that's a whole 'nother ethics argument in and of itself.

So, to put it simply: unless a person's physical appearance indicates one of very few detrimental genetic conditions which are likely to afflict his or her offspring, (and taking into account a very basic drive for people to prefer mates with—non specific—genetically-different physical features than oneself), no person's physical appearance can ever be significant to the evolutionary potential of his or her offspring. The only other specific factors that might actually be relevant, (just to cover all the bases), are those which occur at the microbiological level and which are completely invisible to visual physical scrutiny. For example: immune hyper-efficiencies (did you know that you can tell ideal immune chemistry in a mate by their smelling "good" to you?); vascular abnormalities that reduce the risk of certain diseases or increase oxygen or other nutrient absorption efficiency; extra folds in certain parts of the brain which can increase cognitive capacities, etc.

On the completely contrary to evolution, such things as skeletal structure, muscle distribution/mass/tone, body weight, height, skin blemishes, skin color, hair color/length/texture, eyesight: all of these are either arbitrary (so inconsistent as to be effectively random) or else 100% environmental, and none have absolutely anything to do with a person's genetic suitability or physical health. TL;DR: Unless a person is by any means so physically impaired that his or her health is obviously likely to suffer, or unless a person is very physically similar to a potential mate, nobody can have any rational justification for any particularly-significant level of physical repulsion for a person, ever. The version of physical attraction that most people experience today is a COMPLETELY false concept planted in their minds over the last hundred years or so by other people who want to own their minds.

– Those other people are succeeding!

Allow me to go ahead and dispel any remaining delusion for anyone who happens to be reading this:

Men, your only significant genetic directive for which physical attraction might be a factor is that you are programmed to impregnate as many healthy women as possible in your lifetime who are capable of child-rearing, and who are ideally as physically different from you as possible. The type or extent of the physical differences are not significant. If it's a woman, it counts. If she is capable of reproducing, she qualifies. The only biologically-legit reason you could possibly have to be less physically-attracted to any particular woman is if she possesses physical characteristics which clearly suggest that she is either infertile, carries a hereditary disease that would cripple your children, or else is physically incapable of successfully caring for children.

Women, your only significant genetic directive for which physical attraction might be a factor is that you are programmed to seek out men who are capable of impregnating you and sharing the burdens of child-rearing, and who are ideally as physically different from you as possible. The type or extent of the physical differences are not significant. If it's a man, it counts. If he is capable of reproducing, he qualifies. The only biologically-legit reason you could possibly have to be less physically-attracted to any particular man is if he possesses physical characteristics which clearly suggest that he is either infertile, carries a hereditary disease that would cripple your children, or else is physically incapable of successfully caring for children.

Any physical factors that a man or woman considers "attractive" or "unattractive" beyond the boundaries of those specific directives exist completely and solely in their heads - put there by an external source, either directly or indirectly. Nevertheless, men and women alike will continue to rationalize their attraction to arbitrary body ideals, as marketed by mainstream media, by citing genetic suitability or instinctual factors, or by writing it off as "simple, harmless" vanity.

... Like idiots. Sincere ignorance I can forgive - but once ignorance has been dispelled by exposure to the truth, all that's left is a choice.

There is something inherently dehumanizing about the way members of human societies interact with the notion of their physical selves. I am determined to strive for full humanity at any cost, because I've tasted it. Maybe that's what's missing; maybe there's just no hope that things will ever truly get better - that our collective soul will be able to heal itself. Regardless of the cause, I am not accepting anybody's excuses! Each and every human being is responsible for differentiating between their biases and what is real, and given that we live in social environments we all have an inarguable obligation to do our absolute best to achieve exactly that. Any person who fails to at least constantly try to deliberately enforce a conscious distinction between "what is perceived about a person based on their physical appearance" and "what a person actually IS" is committing what might most appropriately be called "identity rape": forcing an inaccurate, offensive, completely arbitrary concept of a person upon that very person, by way of reinforcing and contributing to the social herd's false inferences about his or her body and what that body translates to in terms of a person's "value" on any level.

Maybe everybody just agrees that this poor compromise we call life is as good now as it will ever be again. Maybe nobody believes that it can ever be salvaged - so why should they invest the effort when others won't? I refuse to accept that, and I will continue to grieve for the righteous intellectual ideals—possibly the true next steps in human evolution—that many have given up on. I will continue to trust that my honesty about my pain might eventually change someone for the better through their association with me - and that through my persistence and adherence to principles I know to be both rational and ethical, I at least might someday be known—by at least someone—as exactly what I truly am... nothing more, nothing less.

I want to have children with a woman who knows me like that. Until then, living in a world full of adults who need to be coddled and can't be separated from their pacifiers without throwing tantrums... is an irony not lost on me. I can only hope that my trust in the universe to eventually correct this cosmic imbalance is justified.

So far, it's just a vague, and often cruel, hope. But I'm incapable of giving up... so I don't give a fuck. I'm fighting on, and I'm even going to find ways to laugh about the problem until I can squash it completely. But seriously, fuck anyone and everyone who's too lazy or apathetic to fight for what's right - particularly in today's world where we are increasingly inundated by so many dimensions of wrongness just by opening the front door.

Choice is the ultimate gift of sentience. Every single time a human being fails to properly apply their right to choose to the world... the rest of us should simultaneously grieve for that loss, nurture the mind that made the error, and revolt against the notion that it wasn't a mistake.

Everyone has a choice. Choose not to ignore yours.