Apocalypse Now'days

So, the question I find myself asking is: where do you shoot the REAL zombies to kill them for good?

Brain? – nope, nothing there at all.
Junk? – nope, because they'll just buy new junk - fuckin' stem cells...
Heart? – nope, too much plaque from smoking for the bullets to cut through.

GOT IT! 

Girls: aim for the tramp stamp! The pure, unadulterated irony of shooting a deadly projectile directly at a douche-bullseye screaming "aim here" will destroy them outright.

Boys: shoot them in the tribal band on their deltoid, tricep or bicep! The unrealized irony of having an aboriginal tattoo and being killed by a firearm will melt their subconscious and ensure they don't wake back up.